When my sister and I went to Merida, Mexico it wasn’t long before a two “guides” showed up to show us around. From first sight, we didn’t trust these guys and didn’t have the desire to have them show us around the plaza. The plaza was pretty basic. Like most plazas it was a square of four sides lined with buildings: the city hall, the cathedral, shops and more shops. We could handle it. The more we resisted their “services,” the more they insisted that we needed “guides to get to know the plaza.” We thought if we went to a restaurant, they would beat it. No such luck. They bellied up to the table with us and proceeded to order. When the bill came, they sat there and expected us to pay for their meals! I was so proud of my sister. In her best Freshman Spanish she said, “tu dinero” (your money). What did those mooches think? That we owed them dinner for forcing themselves on us to show us a square?
Well, it only gets better from there.
Later that night, we were walking back to our hotel when out of nowhere we hear a loud shriek of, “Miran!” (Look!). When we looked, boy did we get the shock or our lives. In the street was a naked man who jumped out at us as he proudly told us to look. I felt like Fred Flintstone for a bit because as I tried to run, it seemed as if my feet wouldn’t go anywhere. The naked man then got in an old, black, 1970s-style Suburban and began to pursue us. We were running and screaming as if he were an axe murderer. Out of nowhere, emerged a taxi driver who safely returned us to our hotel.
The “frosting” on the cake (pun intended…read on), was mini bike guy. On our last evening in Merida, we thought it would be nice to take a horse-drawn carriage ride through the city. The entire time we were on the carriage, we heard this steady murmur of a motor behind us. After about ten minutes, I thought to myself, “Why doesn’t that person just pass us?” So I turned around, and oh my gosh! I don’t remember what came out of my mouth, but all I remember was I could not believe what I saw! Note the position of his left hand and go back to the pun. Can you figure out what he was doing on his mini bike? Unbelievable!